


Incorrect Sonic Quotes (Sorta)

by Rose39



Series: Incorrect Quotes(Sorta) [1]
Category: Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Adult Jokes, Auto-Incorrect, F/M, Incorrect Quotes, M/M, Multi, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-05-14 08:46:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 42
Words: 2,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14766350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose39/pseuds/Rose39
Summary: Just Stuff I Thought Would Be Funny If Sonic Characters Said.I'm Garbage And I Apologize.





	1. Dead?

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing in here is mine - the quotes in the first four chapters.

Manic wakes up after a Stoner's Crash and looks around slowly for a few minutes.

He's on the floor of the tour bus, Sonic, Sonia, Shadow, Amy, Tails, and Silver, from left to right, are all gathered around him, looking down at him.

"Am I...am I dead?" He asks, louder than necessary.

"Yes, now go back to sleep," Shadow huffs.


	2. What The Fuck, Amy?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Means On The Phone]

Sonic stretches as he wakes up, his phone going off after a second.

[Amy  
Good morning, Sonic!  
Good morning, Amy...  
You look so cute with your bed head!  
Excuse me?]  
Listening carefully Sonic hears a cheerful trill from his closet.

He opens the door and the pink hedgehog falls out.

"Holy-"

Before he can finish the crazed girl takes a picture of him and runs out of the room, and hopefully the house too.


	3. Are You Okay, Ray?

Espio is meditating outside while Cream, Charmy, and Ray play.

He can hear them talking loudly, and it's mostly childish chatter, like "If I was super big I'd eat trees like broccoli," and "If birds flew under water, and all the sea creatures swam in the sky the world would be terrifying."

Until Ray says, "Have you ever thought of our own mortality? Like the fact that at some point some currently unforeseen incident is going to end each of our lives, assumably at different times. Yet we live our everyday lives as if there's no possibility that tomorrow we'll all just drop dead out of nowhere. And that one day there will be very little proof that we were ever here."

"Ray?" Espio calls out, the young flying squirrel looks up, "Are you having an existential crisis?"

"Maybe... What's an existential crisis?" He hums.


	4. I'm Not A Nerd!

Tails is going over a whole speech about his latest invention when Knuckles fake snores.

"Get on with it, nerd baby!" The echidna huffs.

"I'm not a nerd!.. Or a baby!" Tails cries, his voice squeaking.

"Prove it," Knuckles smirks.

"I don't have to prove anything to you!" The fox crosses his arms.

"Sure you don't...nerd baby."

Tails growls and kicks the guardian, falling over.

"Sonic! I Need To Go To The Hospital!" The child cries, holding his foot.


	5. A Good Brother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I Came up with all the ones before this, but this one's not mine.

Sonic and Sonia are staking out a location where Queen Alena was supposed to be, but Sonia's having a hard time staying awake, and eventually slumps over, onto her brother, and falls asleep.  
«3 Hours Pass»  
Sonia awakens with a yawn, then realizes she fell asleep on duty.

"Why'd you let me fall asleep?!" She demands of her twin.

"Because I am an awesome brother. What did you dream about?" Sonic smirks.

"...Lollipops and candycanes," Sonia begrudgingly admits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize the quote?


	6. In Shadow's Defense...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, Not my quote.

Shadow is being accused of hacking G.U.N. and releasing all of their information to unnamed private parties.

"Come on. I know Shadow, okay? Better than anyone. He's got more of a conscience than I do. I mean, the guy feels guilty searching the internet for porn," Rouge tries to defend her partner.

"Rouge, shut the hell up," Shadow snaps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	7. Anything?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still, not my quote

Blaze glares at Rouge as the bat pretends she didn't just trigger several alarms just to spite the cat.

"Is there anything you think about other than yourself?" The princess demands angrily.

"Yes. Money. And expensive jewels," the snowy colored woman laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do You Recognize The Quote?


	8. Self Centered...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote~  
>  ~ Rose39, on most of this story, 2018

Sonic and Scourge are fighting over Chaos knows what when Sonic yells, "You're a selfish, self-centered jerk! And with the way you're acting, you'll never change!"

"I am a selfish and self-centered jerk, but it takes one to know one," the anti smirks as Sonic punches him in the face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	9. Honor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not mine

"So, Shadow, this is my brother, Manic, and my sister, Sonia," Sonic introduces his rival to his siblings.

"At last we meet. What an honor - for you," Shadow hums, loving the offended reactions he gets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	10. He'll

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Use this chapter for any ship with Knuckles you want.

[Knux  
Hey, Man, wanna bang?  
*Hang! Holy duck!  
Autocorrect, you can go straight to he'll...]


	11. Completely Responsible

Vector is chatting up Vanilla while their kids play.

"Yeah, taking care of Charmy, and Ray alone while Mighty and Espio are out of town takes a lot of responsibility, and care, but of course I can balance them out pretty well," The crocodile hums.

"Vector, Charmy found a book under your bed, can we read it?" Ray asks.

"Absolutely Not! Charmy! You Open That And I Beat Your Ass!" Vector cries, running to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, Vector is not abusive.
> 
> Lots of parents use “I'll beat your ass” as a warning, because it stops children immediately.
> 
> It sounds bad, but it gets results.


	12. L-Lice Grass!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I have the strangest ships ever.
> 
> This is probably the worst one...
> 
> Off the top of my head.

Sliver walks by and Manic leans back, whispering, "Nice ass."

"What?" Silver turns around.

"Um... I said l-...lice grass!" Manic tries to cover.

"Why? What is “ _lice grass?_ ”" The future hog asks.

"It's uh...it's the punch line to this joke I heard earlier.." The green hedgehog lies.

"Can I hear the rest?" Silver asks.

"You...had to be there," Manic runs away.


	13. Naming The Team

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought of this one with no outside help. :)

"Okay, we're going to start a detective agency together, what are we gonna call ourselves?" Vector asks.

"How bout “Vector's Detective Agency”?" Knuckles frowns.

"Too on the nose.." The crock frowns.

Mighty's hand shoots up, "Six Losers Unearth The Truth!"

"I like it! Gives us an underdog sound, like, six losers who probably aren't qualified, but we get to the bottom of it!" The “leader” admires the offered name.

"Six Losers-" Espio begins to repeat the offered name, "No! We are not calling ourselves that!" The chameleon cries.

Mighty starts laughing wildly.

"And why not?" Vector crosses his arms.

"Abbreviate it," the ninja sighs.

"S.- Mighty! I'm going to kill you!" The crocodile connects the pieces.

The armadillo is still laughing at his own, stupid joke, and after a moment Knuckles joins him.


	14. Say What You Want

Sally got back home from a long trip to help some children to their parents.

She's making herself dinner while Sonic chats with her.

The squirrel goes to add an ingredient when she touches the pan and burns her hand.

"Fudging Attics!" She cries, grabbing her hand.

"What?!" Sonic laughs.

"Shut up..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based Off Of A Personal Experience.
> 
> If you don't get the joke she's been watching her mouth for the kids she was watching, and is kinda reprogrammed to not swear at this point.


	15. First Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not dirty, don't worry.
> 
> Just swearing.

Tails is trying to get Sonic's attention, but the blue blur is ignoring his brother.

"Why won't you fucking listen to me?!" The kit cries.

"Whoa! Tails! Stop talking to Shadow!" The hedgehog turns around.

"Got your attention.." The little one crosses his arms.

"Gonna get you grounded," The bigger retorts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, based off a personal experience.


	16. Gently

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote

"Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw!" Wave yells, throwing her wrench to the ground, storming off.

"That sounds painful...even gently.." Storm hums.

Jet just faceplams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	17. Happy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote

"I just want to be happy! Fiona! Is that too much to ask?! I hardly ever feel happy!" Scourge cries.

"If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn't be a person. You'd be a game-show host," the fox sighs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	18. Baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote

Bunnie gets home after hanging out with Sally, and hugs and kisses Antoine.

"What is that smell?" The coyote asks.

"Oh, Sally gave me some perfume," the rabbit laughs.

"You smell like a baby prostitute," Antoine frowns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If You Recognize Any Of The Quotes That Aren't Mine Comment Where It's From, And If You're Right You Might Be Able To Suggest Where I Should Get The Next One From, Or Who I Should Do Next.


	19. Death? Death!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote

"Did you know when you jerk awake all of the sudden while falling asleep another version of you from a different timeline just died?" Sticks says, completely out of the blue.

"That's fucked up!" Knuckles exclaims.

"Actually, it's because your heart rate dropped so fast that your brain jerked you awake to make sure you were still alive," Tails corrects.

Knuckles grabs the sides of his head, "I Don't Know Which Is Worse!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next 10~ chapters are from Tumblr


	20. Fake Chill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not!  
> My!  
> Quote!!!!

"Have you ever been so stressed that you're calm?" Rouge asks as she lays her head on her desk.

"That's my constant state," one agent of G.U.N. sighs.

"My chill is fake," Topaz pushes her hair out of her face.

"Many ask how I'm so calm, my only answer is that I have passed stress, beyond hysteria, into the gray misty indifference of complete shutdown of all but emergency brain functions," Shadow whispers.


	21. Somewhere...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU where anyone under 18 is required to attend school, and the ages of (my)The Chaotix members are; Vector: 21-25ish, Rotor: 19 Knuckles: 18 Espio: 17 Mighty: 16, Honey: 16, Julie-Su: 17, Ray: 9, Charmy: 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote.

Mighty slams his head down on the table as he's doing his homework.

"You know, I've been thinking a lot.." The armadillo begins.

"I'm sure not about your homework," Espio sighs as he tries to focus on his own homework.

Honey and Julie both nod.

"If everything in the world were to get 100 times bigger at the same exact time, no one would notice," Mighty continues.

"Calm down, Might, I only like to question my existence after 5 pm," Julie-Su mumbles.

"But if you think about it, it's always after 5 pm," Honey smirks.

"Stop!" Espio yells.


	22. Who Needs Health?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote

"Shadow, you really should sleep more.." Sonia worries when she comes in and sees her boyfriend still awake, after not sleeping for the last four days already.

"Sure, I don't get a “Healthy” amount of sleep like some people! But can they do this?!" Shadow yells as he stands up, then falls over and passes out for a second.


	23. Synonyms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my quote

Manic and Knuckles are getting high together, and, after four minutes Manic begins to speak, "Synonyms are weird...like, if I invite you to my cottage in the forest it sounds sweet and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods, I'm definitely planning to murder you..."

"Yeah, and, like, butt dial versus booty call.." Knuckles nods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some may notice this was not the original chapter 23, it got lost in my posting spree, but this is where it was wrote, so I put it as 23


	24. Shovels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance for this, it's a dumb joke, and not my quote.

"Fun fact, the reason you can't dig a hole through the world and come out on the other side is because your shovel would melt, that's it, that's the only reason," Knuckles announces.

"What if you brought another shovel, but like, put it in the fridge beforehand?" Storm asks.

"Yeah! That would work!" Big nods.


	25. On Then Off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ray, Existential Crisis, Take Two.
> 
> Not My Quote.

"Have you ever realized that "Maybe if you go to bed you'll fell better in the morning" is literally the living version of "have you tried turning it off and back on again?”" Ray asks all of the sudden.

"What have you done!?" Marine cries.

"Ray!" Mighty calls.

"Yes?"

"What did is say about existential crises?"

"Don't scare the other kids with them."


	26. Phone Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my quote.
> 
> Also, takes place 6 year in the future, so, ages, Bean, Charmy, and Cream: 12, Marine: 13, Tails: 14, Ray And Sticks: 15.

Tails is hanging out with Bean, Cream, Charmy, Marine, Ray, and Sticks, when Sonic calls.

"Everybody, shut up!" Tails yells as he answers, "Hey Sonic!"

"Hi!!!!" Cream chirps into the phone.

"Come Back To Bed, Tails!" Ray chimes in.

"Oh!!! Ooh!!! Ah!!! Mm!!!" Charmy tries to make sex noises.

"Aye! Pass The Weed!" Marine announces.

"Fuck! Piss! Shit! Hell! Cunt! Bitch! Dick! Ass! Whore!" Bean yells all the curse words he can think of.

"Put Your Pants Back On!" Sticks shrieks.


	27. Onion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote!
> 
> *･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

Blaze is at the Rabbit house, crying her eyes out, and Vanilla is holding her close, trying to comfort her.

"Sweetheart, if you're in a relationship and all you do is cry then you need to stop and ask yourself, “Am I dating a person, or an onion?”" The rabbit pets the cat hair back.

Blaze laughs through her sobs and Vanilla know it'll all work itself out.


	28. Hobbies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote

Tails, Espio, and Rouge are all in a police station after a “Misunderstanding” and while the elder two are calm as can be, Tails is jittering nervously.

"You're not exactly a hardened criminal, are you?" Rouge laughs.

"No, I'm not any kind of criminal!" Tails defends.

"What do you call computer hacking?" Espio crosses his arms.

"A hobby...That I don't engage in!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you recognize the quote?
> 
> It's not from tumblr


	29. Bird

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my quote

"What are you doing tonight?" Amy asks Knuckles.

"Why, do you have a lecture?" The echidna frowns.

"No," Amy rolls her eyes.

"Free as a bird, what's up?" Knuckles chirps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize the quote?


	30. Must Be Some Damn Good Bread

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote

"If you had to give up sex or food, which would you pick?" Manic asks while he, his siblings, and their significant others are out eating.

"Sex!" Sally announces.

"Seriously. Answer faster," Sonic pouts.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. When he said "sex" I wasn't thinking of sex with you," the chipmunk comfort.

"It's like a giant hug," the blue hedgehog grouses.

"Sonia, how about you? Sex or food?" Manic asks.

"Food!" The purple hedgehog answers.

"What about sex or dresses?" Silver asks.

"My God, it's like Sophie's Choice," Sonia sighs.

"Sonic, if you had to give up sex or food, which would you pick?" Manic smirks.

"I don't know it's too hard."

"Come on, you have to answer," Sally pesters.

"Okay... sex. No, food. No, uh... I want both! I want girls on bread!" Sonic leans back and covers his face.

"I am the only one here who could legitimately give up food and survive," Shadow mumbles.

"No one asked you," Silver snaps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rec-  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> I think everyone knows this quote one way or another.


	31. Only Half

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote

Rouge is upset about breaking up with Shadow and crying to Amy.

"I gave him everything... I was half a virgin when I met him!" The bat cries.

Amy pulls What The Fuck Look No. 2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote


	32. Drugs, Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote

"Look, I had a hard life. My mother was killed by a drug dealer," Jet complains to Storm.

"Um...your mom killed herself," The albatross frowns.

"She was a drug dealer," The hawk shrugs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	33. How In The God Damn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Quote!

Charmy is taped to the coffee table, a light is broken, and Ray is crying when Espio, Vector, and Mighty get back from a case.

They all look to Honey and Julie-Su, who agreed to babysit.

"Charmy was literally bouncing off the walls, broke the light, and kicked Ray in the face," Julie explain.

"Duct tape was our only option," Honey adds.


	34. I Mean, Okay, But Why?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Quote!

"Never, and I mean **Never** let me become a parent, please," Sonia announces, staring at her phone.

"Gotcha," Manic nods.

"With your taste in men I was bound to try and stop you, but out of curiosity, Why?" Sonic hums.

"Just promise," Sonia insists.

"I...promise?" Sonic just agrees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Few Chapters are conversations between my family from while I was gone, me and my siblings were all staying with my dad, and I didn't have a lot of time to myself to write, so please accept these as my apology.
> 
> Sonia: My little sister, who was reading about the horrors of what happens to your body when you're pregnant.  
> Manic: Me, who just agrees to shit like that.  
> Sonic: My older brother, who hates most of my sister's boyfriends anyways.


	35. Blaze's Boy Troubles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Quote!

Blaze is upset after yet another break up and Silver kneels down to look her in the eyes as she sits on the floor crying.

"Give me a name and address, I go, chop his dick off, and be back before he even has a chance to call the police," The snowy hedgehog offers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, technically happened right before we left to go see my dad, but close enough. Plus not my siblings...
> 
> Blaze: Me, but it wasn't boy trouble, it was just...lady things...  
> Silver: My best friend, the best dude in the world, who assumes that all my problems are social.


	36. Dance Is For Everyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Quote!

Mighty catches Espio doing ballet and starts laughing wildly.

"You are so gay man!" The armadillo cries.

"Shut up! Dance is for everyone!.. And I'm Bi, thank you very much!" The chameleon argues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mighty: My youngest brother, who's an ass most of the time.  
> Espio: My younger brother, who loves to dance, and is an ass too(he didn't say that last part, that was just my stupid brain thinking it would be funny to add because it's Espio.)  
> [Hey, Just So You Know, I Take Requests Here, Ships, Quotes, X Reader Stuff](https://rosie39.tumblr.com/post/177500739063/i-want-your-help-with-my-december-story%22)


	37. Sally, Stop Talking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote!

Sally is on a mission and has Nicole on comm.

"It feels really good having you inside me... And by you I mean your voice. And by me I mean my ear. I'm going to stop talking. Right now," Sally stutters over her words.

"That would be my preference," Nicole snickers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	38. Love Is Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote!

Knuckles is laughing and making fun of Sonic after he found out Sally, who is _pregnant_ , hooked up with Blaze.

"Hi Daddy! Why don't you live with Mommy? Who's that other Lady? What's a Lesbian?" Knuckles laughs wildly after his dumb joke.

"Shut up, Knuckles!" Sonic yells.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)  
> Recommend The Quote?


	39. Who Knows? ;) ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote!

Silver is looking through some pictures Manic took for a magazine.

"Wow, man, that's a steamy picture," he comments.

"Yeah, I know. The magazine said it was for my gay fans," Manic winks at the other hedgehog.

"Why'd you wink at me?" Silver frowns.

"Don't look at me. You're the one who like the picture so much," Manic rolls his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	40. Answering Machine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote!

Tails is trying to call Mina for a mission, Bean avidly waiting.

"I got her machine," the fox sighs, hanging up.

"Her answering machine?"

"No. Interestingly enough, her leaf blower picked up," Tails rolls his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	41. Jet During A War

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote!

"I think I'd be great in a war. I'd, like, get all the medals," Jet muses.

"Before or after you're executed by your own troops?" Wave knock the back of his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	42. Sonic's Autobiography

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote!

"Is that all you've got? A cheap trick and a cheesy one-liner?" Shadow yells during a fight with Sonic.

"Sweetheart, that could be the name of my autobiography," Sonic laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


End file.
